赵本山：你别跟她说，她说的是心情。别着急。
毕福剑：继续，继续。
毛毛： 我心情从多云转晴了。这是为什么呢？因为我找到我姥爷了，我姥爷太好了，他能带我上溜光大道。
毕福剑：《星光大道》。
赵本山：《星光大道》。
毛毛： 上《星光大道》。我非常感谢我姥爷能给我这次机会，我太感谢你了。如果你真的把我领上道儿，我就感谢你八辈祖宗，我......代表八辈祖宗感谢你。忘不了你对我的大恩大德，我这辈子也不会忘记你，我做鬼都不会放过你。
毕福剑：姥爷，不，她爷，怎么越听这话，我越瘆得慌。
赵本山：孩子就是......啥意思？就是想报复你。
毕福剑：报复？
赵本山：啊不，报恩，报销嘛。报答，知恩图报，等出息了不能忘了姥爷。唱吧。唱。
毕福剑：能唱歌？
赵本山：唱李谷一的《青藏高原》。
毛毛： 那歌是李娜的。
赵本山：爱谁谁的，你唱。
CCTV Man According to our rules...
Uncle Zhao Whut're they?
CCTV Man (to Yadar) ... you shall introduce yourself first.
Uncle Zhao Look right ahead, honey. Start from the beginnin'. Don`t be nervous.
Yadar I'm from the Lotus Pond Valley of the big Tieling City. My name's Yadar. Today I'm so incited. Tonight it's so sunny, turning from cloudy to clear.
Shenyang (giggling) What're you doing, reporting on the weather?
Uncle Zhao Don't laugh at her. She's talkin' about how she feels.
CCTV Man Go on.
Yadar My feeling's changed from cloudy to sunny. Because - because I've found my grandpa. Grandpa's great, he can take me to the Star Splashed Walkway.
CCTV Man Starlight Broadway.
Uncle Zhao Starlight Broadway.
Yadar Broadway or whatever, I'm grateful to grandpa for this chance. I'll be very thankful if you can take me to your Broadway. I'll thank your ancestors... I mean I'll thank you on behalf of my own ancestors of long, long years ago. I won't forget this great favor you've done me. I owe this new life of mine to you. I'll go on chasing you even after I die to become a ghost.
CCTV Man (to Uncle Zhao) Grandpa... I mean you. The way she spoke sort of upset me.
Uncle Zhao Eh... I guess she jus' wants to revenge you...
CCTV Man Is that so?
Uncle Zhao No, I mean to repay you. Or reimburse you or whute'er. One should repay those who've generously helped him or her. When the girl becomes famous, she really shouldn`t forget you. (To Yadar) Go ahead and sing.
CCTV Man Can she sing a song?
Uncle Zhao Sing "The Qinghai-Tibetan / Qingzang Plateau" by Li Guyi.
Yadar It`s by Li Na.
Uncle Zhao Whoe'er it is.
（毛毛现场演唱《青藏高原》。）
毛毛： "是谁带来远古的呼唤？
是谁留下千年的期盼......"
赵本山：中间的不用唱了，最后那个。哦哟啦，那个。
毛毛： "......那就是青藏高原。"
毕福剑：年龄不大，嗓门真高。
赵本山：来来，再长一个调儿。"那就......"。
毛毛： 爷爷，卤子有点吃咸了。
（小沈阳忍俊不禁）
毕福剑：好好。
赵本山：还有呢？后面连哭带唱的。
毕福剑：等一下。
赵本山：连哭带说。
毕福剑：老哥，我问一下，连哭带说是什么节目？
赵本山：就后面"我家庭怎么困难，怎么不容易"那段。
毕福剑：不不，那叫获奖感言。《星光大道》都是真人真事。你这还没有上北京，没参加《星光大道》，就获奖感言了。
赵本山：这关系，另外这条件，她不获奖能行吗？他姥爷在这儿，我还没底吗？来来来，哭，哭。这孩子可厉害了。差仨数，她马上就哭。一、二、三--哭！
毛毛： 咋哭？
赵本山：哭啊，丫蛋，在家哭那么快，真完蛋了。
毛毛： 明儿也哭不出来。
赵本山：不跟姥爷有感情吗？来，看姥爷，姥爷照片在这儿。
毛毛： 呜呜，嘻嘻，嘻嘻。
赵本山：完蛋了，笑什么！
毛毛： 太有了意思了，哪照片呀这。
毕福剑：不说了，不说了。才艺很不错，唱得很不错。
Yadar (starting to sing)
"Ah, who brings here the earnest call of remote antiquity?
Ah, who leaves behind the expectations of the millennium?"
Uncle Zhao Skip the middle part and move on to the final climax. (Trying to imitate) Yo-la-la. See?
Yadar "...That's Qinghai-Tibetan / Qingzang Plateau,
The highland of my soul!"
CCTV Man What a high pitch you've got for your age.
Uncle Zhao Push higher up. Like this.
Yadar Grandpa, the sauce's hurt my voice a bit.
(Shenyang giggles again)
CCTV Man (to Yadar) That's enough.
Uncle Zhao Next, the game of ravin' in tears after the show.
CCTV Man Wait a minute.
Uncle Zhao Gabbling between sobs.
CCTV Man What exactly?
Uncle Zhao Like "I'm from a poor family an' life's been extra hard for me."
CCTV Man Not that yet. Hold it off till after she's got an award in Beijing. The Starlight Broadway's about what people actually experience in real life. They're not supposed to act things out beforehand.
Uncle Zhao See whut support she's got an' how truly marvelous she is at singin'? It'd be funny if she goes there without winnin'! With you her grandpa here, I've got nothin' to worry about. (To Yadar) C'me on, Yadar. Show Grandpa Bi how you cry. (Back to CCTV Man) The girl's fantastic. You only count to t'ree and she'll sure break down. (Back to Yadar) One, two, t'ree - cry!
Yadar I can't.
Uncle Zhao Jus' do it, Yadar. You bring tears to you' eyes damn' fast back home.
Yadar Even by daybreak tomorrow I still won't make it.
Uncle Zhao Ain't you love your dead grandpa? Look, his photo's right here.
(Yadar tries to cry out but laughs instead)
Uncle Zhao That's gonna finish me! Why the hell are you sniggering, Yadar?
Yadar It`s so funny... what kind of a photo is that?
CCTV Man (to Uncle Zhao) Be patient, buddy. (To Yadar) Remarkable talent and truly impressive delivery.
小沈阳：这就不错啊？哎呀妈呀，这样能上的话，我也能上。
赵本山：往哪上啊你！快上菜去。
小沈阳：我上《星光大道》呗。
赵本山：上啥大道？你上炕都费劲。
小沈阳：毕老师好不容易来一回，让我展示一下，我也会唱。
赵本山：哪有时间听。知道吗？这都艺术圈的事，你一个服务员，唱啥唱啊？
小沈阳：你让我唱一个呗。
赵本山：不让你唱。
小沈阳：不让我唱，我就不给你上菜。
赵本山：你不给我上菜，我找你老板去。
赵本山：你找我老板，我把你交代我的事说出来。
赵本山：你要说......他指定比唱的好。
毕福剑：你还是说，还是自报家门。
小沈阳：其实，毕老师，我的命运(敏感词语)跟她是一样的，我也有一个姓毕的姥爷。
赵本山：你拉倒吧，用不着，别套了，你该唱唱你的。你闹心不闹心！
毕福剑：好了，不打断，不打断。小伙子，你会点什么呢？
小沈阳：我会模仿秀。
毕福剑：模仿谁？
小沈阳：模仿刘欢老师。
毕福剑：刘欢老师那一出？
小沈阳：《我和你》。
Shenyang Do you call that remarkable? If she can go there, so can I.
Uncle Zhao Where to?
Shenyang To the Starlight Broadway.
Uncle Zhao Creep way back to you' stinkin' brick bed!
Shenyang Since Mr. Bi's here, please give me a chance to try. I can sing, too.
Uncle Zhao Who's got the time to listen? Whut's more, whut do you know about matters of art? A waiter's a waiter, after all.
Shenyang Let me sing.
Uncle Zhao Nope.
Shenyang If you don't let me sing, I won't serve you the meal.
Uncle Zhao If you don't serve me the meal, I'll get you' boss here.
Shenyang If you get my boss here, I'll speak to him about what's up your sleeves.
Uncle Zhao If you speak... I know you speak better than you sing.
CCTV Man (to Shenyang) Well, say something about yourself first.
Shenyang I share a similar fate with her, with a grandpa by the same family name of Bi.
Uncle Zhao Whut's wrong with you, tryin' to curry favor like this? Sing your stupid song, or go an' suck you' mom.
CCTV Man Please don't interrupt him. What're you good at, young man?
Shenyang I can do a mock show.
CCTV Man Whom can you mock?
Shenyang Mr. Liu Huan.
CCTV Man Which song of his?
Shenyang "You and Me."
赵本山：你自个儿唱，这刚下飞机，累这样，跟你唱？
毕福剑：不是他和我唱。
赵本山：搁我更不唱了。
毕福剑：老哥，跟你解释一下，这是一首歌的名儿，叫"我和你"。
小沈阳：我给毕老师唱一个。嗯哼哼哼。
，《不差钱》英文版台词-经典语录网